I'm throwing my weed away and never going to smoke it again. I'm too stoned. I don't feel anything. How could someone like this? Maybe for anxiety or pain.

I smoke it and then all of my mental pain goes away.. But I like the pain.. cuz I know that it will get me somewhere.. - But I'm too stoned to do anything (Yet I WANT to do things) and without it, I'm sober enough to do things (But DON'T WANT to do things).

It makes me not care about anything.. It's nice to feel like that sometimes I guess - So idk. Not all of the time though - And I can't seem to control it?

Or can I? idk.