I am doing fairly well. Been working with my student for a week and a half, she’s great. I can relate to her, even though I can’t tell her exactly how. She is very slow to process and respond so I learned pretty quickly to just give her time to answer without staring at her. She seems to want to talk but not have a back and forth conversation which she may not be really capable of at this point. She seems to think about something for a long time, then tell me about it, but not really need a long reply. Just enough to show I’m listening. For example, she told me she feels like people are judging her because she gained weight from being on psych meds. I mean, I couldn’t say that’s not true, could I? But I said it’s unfortunate that it happens that way but not everyone is like that. At least she knows I heard her.
The wedding is 27 days away and I’m trying not to freak out and call the whole thing off. It’s not because I don’t love RS and don’t want to marry him. I do. I’m feeling more and more isolated from him through no fault of his own, I’m dissociating from him. I should talk to him about it but first I need to figure out why that might be on my own with my therapist first otherwise I’m just gonna make him upset and think I don’t want to marry him.
Other than that almost everything for the actual ceremony is taken care of.
Tomorrow we are going to a sunflower maze. We went last year and it was gorgeous. It’ll lift my spirits.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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