I’m feeling a lot better this evening. This morning was very rough and I found myself in a scenario I’ve never experienced before. My options for help were very limited and I reached out here on the forum and quickly changed my mind about posting about it. However, someone did respond before its deletion and it meant a lot to me they took the time to read and respond as they did. They really helped me out today with that. They even helped me find words to explain what I was experiencing in a more concrete way. So, thank you to them for doing that for me. I was at a loss and I felt very fortunate that person stumbled on my post when you did.

Tonight is better – but if I were to gauge my stability today – it’s really quite scary how unstable I’ve felt most of the day. I do have a therapist appointment next week, which I’ll mention what happened today. I have a psychiatrist appointment the week after next. I just gotta make it through the weekend and a few days. I found myself scared, but at the same time knowing I wasn’t in a medical emergency – felt stupid for even bothering another person. Emotionally it was hard to go through. At least tonight, I feel some relief from all of that.

I promised to take a “leave” is how I put it. I wanted to clarify that a bit. I’m on the forum and I may reply to things, but I’m leaving the bulk of my stressors at the door when I come to the forum for awhile. I feel emotionally drained constantly by the stuff going on in my life and I can only imagine how others feel reading my crap lol. So, my holding back a bit is something I am choosing to do for awhile. Besides – learning to focus on something else may be good for me, instead of constantly ruminating on things beyond my control. Besides – I really do enjoy hearing about everyone and seeing what they are up to in the check-in thread.

Thanks everyone who gave supportive words to me these days!

– I know I haven’t been very vocal with showing support to others. I do read and care, I just don’t always reply. I could literally list off things I enjoy about each of your writing styles and activities for the majority of those here! I’ll try to use this forum a bit more therapeutically to shift focus for a short time to being a contributing factor in something positive.