I know you’re struggling so much. I really do and it reminds me of why I stopped my meds multiple times (even the main time) throughout my sickness (weight gain, too many prescriptions, etc).

What I CAN tell you is that, I really had to accept myself, the way I looked, as far as weight gain goes, in order to stay on meds. My whole reason for stopping meds was either weight gain or sleeping too much. It’s weird because I thought it would be like something different that I had to accept, but accepting my weight really actually kept me on my meds and kept me doing so much better than I was before. and staying on my meds consistently has helped me be a stable as I have been these last three years more than any other time in my life! I’m only on two meds an antidepressant and an antipsychotic but I had to accept that the strongest med of them all really is the best one for me even though it makes me sleep a lot. I just had to take out a lot (a lot!) of time for self-care and I had to turn down events and situations and not let people get to me when they would judge me about my sleep schedule and my health.

With that said though the fact that you are even exercising is a step away ahead than what I think most people do and that is just the most amazing thing! It’s hard but I learned to except my limits and my abilities to do certain things which is not the same as normal people. I try to exercise as I can and I try to leave my house and do things as I can.

I think part of me in the past also was very in denial about having a disability even though I knew I had a disability which is weird. But I had to realize that I do have limits and I do have some things that I just can’t do and that’s OK!

I hope this helps. [emoji3590]