Oh wow. Just wow. I go back to my earlier statement of "what the hell am I supposed to do here". How can I manage both sides of the coin at once. How can I accept, understand and care so deeply for you whilst also staying true to my own survival instinct. Please can someone just tell me how the hell am I supposed to hold both of these things at the same time!?!?! I can only imagine this is why some people are people pleasing pushovers and some are angry narcissists, because being both at the same time is seemingly impossible.