Can you be numb and sad at the same time? If so how?

Can you be coping and dissociating at the same time? If so how?

How do you stop dissociating and feel the feelings that are underneath?

By dissociating, I don't mean freeze. L was trying to explain that it's a different type where you're like disconnecting from things emotionally.

I'm asking because I'm struggling with processing my sadness around losing a session a week. I know I'm extremely sad, but something is blocking me from accessing the sadness. And it's weird that not only am I not crying, but I don't have any urges to SH either. Yet I know there's a well of pain down inside me.

Btw, I can cry about other things. Like when I think about L possibly moving, I cry.