Well I talked to T. I didn't realize just how bad I was doing until I talked to her. We went over my safety plan. She convinced me to tell H about my thoughts and made sure I got my shot today. She's not a fan of "Anna" and said I don't really have the coping skills to deal with her. We covered a lot in 45 min. T is concerned but didn't suggest IP unless it becomes over whelming. She does not like that are next appointment is 3 weeks away. I'm okay with it. she left here extension with me. H informed me I'm eating like 1/2 a meal size through out the day. I didn't realize it was that little. I have trouble believing him but I know I should. I see pdoc Novemerish. I'm counting down the days knowing right now there's nothing he can do for me. Dependency on medication to keep me alive feels really ******. H thinks this is my most dangerous mood state. All I want is extra sleep and SH and I'm not aloud either one. This whole thing sucks but that's what I did today.