T, I wondered how I'd feel if you got in touch. Partly relieved and partly anxious. Relieved, because it reinforces to me that you do care. Anxious, because it's easier to deal with things by not dealing with them, if that makes sense. In re-starting sessions, I'd be putting myself through the emotional wringer again and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. It might have seemed as though I was running away when I cancelled our last session, perhaps I was. I wish more than anything I could see you face to face and spend some time with you. But the fallout is too difficult to deal with. I know that makes me a coward but it's me that has to deal with it.

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