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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Can you be numb and sad at the same time? If so how?
Can you be coping and dissociating at the same time? If so how?
How do you stop dissociating and feel the feelings that are underneath?
By dissociating, I don't mean freeze. L was trying to explain that it's a different type where you're like disconnecting from things emotionally.
I'm asking because I'm struggling with processing my sadness around losing a session a week. I know I'm extremely sad, but something is blocking me from accessing the sadness. And it's weird that not only am I not crying, but I don't have any urges to SH either. Yet I know there's a well of pain down inside me.
Btw, I can cry about other things. Like when I think about L possibly moving, I cry.
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I can definitely feel numb and sad at the same time - I don't particularly find them disparate experiences.
Dissociation IS a coping mechanism, albeit perhaps not the healthiest one in adults. For children it is protective and a survival instinct. That's how so many of us survived. As an adult, dissociation tended to get in the way of things. Learning to be present and cope with whatever was going on was important. As an adult, dissociating was avoidance for me.
Sadness is normal. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. I experience a great deal of sadness over my husband's death, but it doesn't necessitate being overwhelmed by the sadness or crying even.
Try this perspective: Perhaps you are simply experiencing a normal level of sadness over a (relatively) small loss of a bit of time with your therapist. It's not a major crisis, so you are responding in a way that is proportional to the event. I don't say that in any way to minimize your sadness, but perhaps you are so used to being emotionally overwhelmed that you "expect" a response that perhaps you are learning to grow beyond. You are learning to cope without things necessarily turning into a crisis. That seems like growth.