Hi, it's been a while i know. Yeah, as for this person's idea of forgiveness, i don't believe in forgiveness. I hope some of the commenters weren't assuming i'm a woman. I'm a man. Right now i've been trying to figure out things. i would like to have support from people on this. I'm grateful for some of the comments. Yes it is toxic this relationship is and considering the 9 years of absolute hell it was, i just can't fanthom how this is healthy.

i've tried to divorce him twice, but for some odd reason the court isn't doing anything about it despite putting it through them. Besides, i just want this stupid marriage dissolved. i shouldn't have married the sob.

It's sad, he just kept claiming that he wasn't abusive but i was. I'm sorry, how was trying brain me with a weapon meaning i'm the abuser? Especially when in that same scenario, i was devestated because of financial struggle and rent payment that was going on two years ago.

right now, i decided to do this;
not return to the apartment, ever.
abandon all of my belongings i didn't carry with me
cut off contact
i'm looking to find another job
i'm hoping to find a vehicle i can just live in because i'm homeless right now.

I had made a youtube video explaining a little of my painful situation. of course, he left a comment saying i'm a liar. cute, this is nothing new of course.