Hugs to all that are suffering right now

I’m pretty sure I’ve got most things settled for the wedding. I was losing it on Monday because I didn’t realize I had to make an appointment three weeks beforehand to get our marriage license! Avoidance anxiety will be the death of me. The township didn’t call back until halfway through Tuesday but thankfully we have our appointment. The requirements are unbelievable. I managed to gather everything from different sources on my end. Our only roadblock now is that RS has to have a license reflecting his current address and when we moved he had just renewed it so he didn’t get one. We figured it doesn’t matter since he changed his address online with the DMV and has the paper to prove it. But I don’t want to take any chances, he ordered a duplicate license today. It will take “up to” two weeks to get here. Our appointment is in exactly two weeks. I can only hope it gets here before that. If not we will forge on with his proof of change and receipt reflecting that he ordered a new one.

I got a reply to the invitation I sent my cousin complete with a nasty note about how I’ve never tried to contact him outside of holidays and also never wished him happy birthday. I can’t even be mad. That whole side of the family is completely unhinged. Somehow it’s our fault that we’re not close to any of them? They never made any effort to get together outside of holidays and maybe birthdays either. Like never. On top of that they’re nasty and passive aggressive. Seriously it’s like some sort of bizarre comedy show. Well that basically just clinches me not seeing them anymore so I guess we’re all good lol. I never wanted the cousins there anyway, I only invited them because my grandma pressured me.

I’m still getting nervous about actually getting married and still can’t put my finger on why. Maybe I’m scared it will end up like my first marriage. Like I’m scared I’ll be tied to RS because if he morphs into a complete a-hole somehow I won’t be able to get away. But honestly it’s not like my first husband was only a jerk after marriage. He came out of the gate like that, I just didn’t see it as a problem because I was young and had no self esteem.

I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday AND it’s a half day for the students.