I have to not use or drink a ton of stuff starting today. Including pepto bismol which I had been using a lot. Also they said to stop specific types of vitamins and herbs like ginseng. I’ll probably just stop drinking my tea altogether since A lot of it has herbs and vitamins in it. And I’ll have to check my soda collection since I know some of that stuff has ginseng in it. It says to avoid garlic too. My mom says they are talking about garlic supplements though and not garlic in food. Idk though.

I’ve been up since 1:26 and I’ve had a lot of caffeine. Mostly not intentionally because I’m trying to drink a lot of cranberry juice and my mom got me cranberry energy juices. But I’m going to get some regular little bottles today.

I just read last night when I woke up. I didn’t feel like going back to bed. My Benadryl knocked me out around 6. Pretty suddenly too. It was all I took. I didn’t take any melatonin or extra Geodon. Just one liquid Benadryl capsule and I was out. I was only under my throw blanket I wasn’t under anything else. I missed dinner too. I ate a candy bar when I was up this morning. I’m not too tired right now. I was anxious until I ate some bread. It was suggested to me that I eat bread when I am super anxious.

These cramps are killing me. I can hardly wait until everything is completely gone.

I am honestly anxious though about a couple trivial things regarding my surgery. I wish my therapist would actually talk to me about this stuff instead of using her dumb poker face the whole time and just starring at me when I talked.

When I told her about my worries about being intubated she didn’t even know what that was and I had to explain it to her. And she still couldn't give me any reassurance. She says she’s not a sugar coating type therapist. But I feel like there’s a difference between being straight forward and being able to help someone when they are concerned about something legit. My doctor could sense my anxiety and was reassuring and I didn’t even mention to him I was anxious.