Oddly enough, Christmas was one of the best and most 'normal' times in our home. Thankfully, the Holidays did not start to get weird and painful until after my Mom passed away when I was in my twenties. It was then that a lot of cracks started to show, and the family slowly started to disintegrate and disappear.

For me, Christmas has been a difficult time for the last 16 years (ever since just before my depression started to get very bad). During those years of great loss and deep inexpressable sorrow, Christmas was actually physically painful---full of very triggering associations, whole blocks of lost time because of emotional anguish, and countless stress headaches.

Thankfully, I've been a bit better in the last few years, and I've tried to make it something nice (if small and manageable) for husband, myself, and my mother-in-law the last few seasons. It's just us, so the overwhelming aspects of it have been gotten under control.