OP, you are so totally in a codependent relationship with her. Please get a therapist ASAP. Your need to fix her (what you call "helping") is interfering with you taking care of the business of divorce. You should be driving this train and you are allowing her to. Get an attorney tomorrow and file. She needs to be paying the required amount of support for these kids while she isn't living in the home and also after divorce.

Get in the driver's seat here. Get therapy so you can repair yourself and not attract another broken person. She is most definitely broken.