I was actually wondering this weekend if it might be better in some ways if my T was less accessible, in terms of email. I debated emailing him about something from Friday's session that was distressing me, but then I was trying to just sit with it (which I was able to do, with some difficulty). But if emailing him over the weekend (and getting a reply) wasn't an option, then I would just thought "OK, guess I'll just have to wait till Monday."

And in the past, I've often opted to email him rather than just sit with whatever is bothering/upsetting me because I know he'll reply (though he does occasionally reply saying something is better for a full discussion in session). I've done better with choosing to sit with it lately, but it can be so tempting to just send an email and get reassurance (or whatever I'm looking for) relatively quickly.

We've also had a few ruptures/conflicts that were at least somewhat tied to an email exchange--like maybe they started in session, but then got worse over email. Or he misunderstood what I was looking for from an email, then I was upset with his response (I now try to be clear what I'm looking for).


Like once, I did email him while he was on vacation and said something like, "Hi, Just making sure you're still alive." And he replied with something like, "You're funny--no I haven't been eaten by a wolf or bear or anything!" (referencing something I'd said before he left). But I wasn't trying to joke--at the time I was struggling with his being away, and it felt like I was making light of that (he knows me better now, so wouldn't respond that way unless I was clear about joking).


But that's a case where, if he hadn't allowed email while he was away, that conflict wouldn't have happened. (The most recent time he was away, I didn't contact him at all.)