I am stuck! I feel trapped in a self-defeating style. I am not motivated to do anything. It is like it is painful to stretch out an arm or a leg, I am just sitting here. My head is full of negative thoughts about myself

I ask myself if there is nothing I can do? What happened? I was in the town's center yesterday to visit a church. After that I walked to find the new bus-stop I was supposed to use this morning when connecting with friends for hiking. I became tired and became afraid that I didn't have the physical strength to go hiking with them. I decided to go on a hike alone in another district and train myself to go a distance as long as I knew they would go. Then I found myself depressed. I didn't make dinner, but ate many slices of bread with strawberry jam and my level of bloodsucker became dangerously high.

Today I am just sitting here ... I will try this way out: I will read about my old triggers in my old notebook and I will fill in TIREDNESS as a trigger. (May be it is tiredness and some other things I cannot point on). If tiredness is a trigger to me, I need to be able to accept that, slow down and find an alternative way.

My home has been very much cluttered the last days and I cannot let this continue. I will follow an advice from "The decider", set and amount of time to work that is possible for me to do, like 5 minutes or so. I think I will work/rest/work/rest in five minutes intervals for may be 30 minutes.

Thank you all for beieng here!

I hope you all are well!