So Sorry things are being so hard also! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about making a list of the things that may have been improved in your Marriage and perhaps seeing a therapist also. i feel like that may Help you if you haven't been seeing one already. m. Unfortunately it can take time to truly Grieve so do try your best. Find some distractions and try to spend some more time with Family and Friends if possible. m. Do what is possible to focus on your Life right now. Be Kind to yourself and other people obviously. i apologize if this post isn't really useful but i Hope things will improve for everyone nonetheless obviously. Everyone deserves to be Loved. m. Do try your Best. Be Generous. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @WindsThatBlow, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!