Hi Omers, it's good to "see" you and read your update. Sounds like things are going well with both T's.

This line jumped out at me as a really important realization for you, maybe even a turning point in some way; "I feel better knowing he could hurt me but loves me enough not to as opposed to my earlier belief that he was so different that he was incapable of doing harm."

And that line spoke to me in a way as well. Sorry to bring myself into your thread, but the "he was so different that he was incapable of doing harm"--this makes me think of how I felt for a long time about ex-MC. So when he *did* do harm, it was extra painful for me.


Whereas I've never thought that about Dr. T (just hit 4 years with him!) I've been aware from quite early on that he was able to do harm. (As he put it one time, "I don't think you've ever idealized me!") But I'm choosing to trust him anyway (well, I still have my doubts/fears/anxiety crop up, but I haven't run away again, and I try to face them head on with him). He'd never say that he loves me, though he's said he "cares a great deal about my well-being." But I feel his actions suggest something at least bordering on [platonic] love, even if he would never choose to use that word, like he's gone above and beyond (for him!) numerous times in the past year for me.


I think your being able to realize one, then the other in the same person is particularly important. Out of curiosity, have you shared that with him? I imagine he'd find it to be quite meaningful.