I am really very, very sorry you are caught in such a distressing, stressful and unhappy situation. How awful! I wish I had some advice or wisdom to share but given my own life history, I am really the last person on earth to offer advice. I do hope your being here will be some comfort to you. I have found the people here to be so compassionate and understanding and this place has really been a life saving refuge for me in my struggles. You are burdened with such a heavy load of unhappiness. It is so heartbreaking.