I'm freaking out. I talked to my T about my ED and she wants me to "go somewhere" for it if my insurance covers it. I don't want to go anywhere. It's really not that bad. I'll do IOP or PHP but I'm definitely not doing IP because that is unnecessary.

I'm not looking up programs. There probably aren't any close to me anyways. Maybe if I wasn't poisoned by treatment providers I'd be in a better position. Maybe this is just a way to cope with the "trauma" of my last episode, and when I heal from that I'll be able to eat like a healthy person.