I feel ridiculously stupid for changing pdocs so many times and making appointments with new ones then cancelling and stuff. I don't know how to accept reality. And my T is just like: "learn to communicate better with your current pdoc." I get so conflicted about it. It's absurd. My pdoc says "let's not change anything for a while," while I have legitimate complaints about the medication I am taking - i.e., it causes lack of motivation, it causes tiredness, it causes a whole host of problems right now, and my pdoc, I feel, doesn't even listen to my concerns. I wish he was more empathetic these days. He seems to be just meds, meds, meds, these days. Which isn't bad necessarily, but I know meds aren't the whole solution. And I wish I could be on less medicine. Not go off completely, because I already know that would probably be disastrous, but to go down on certain meds. But he refuses. He says I have an obsession about switching providers and things like that. And an obsession about changing the medication. I don't disagree. But hey, I would like to actually make some change here. I don't want to stagnate.