Dear Ex T,

Well, I'm...... Something. Not sure what it is. Not feeling much at all really but your text really should have made me feel something I think. Thing is, I would say confused, but I am not sure I can get much more confused where you are concerned!!

You say that we can have a meeting, because your supervisor said that if you are ok with it then it's 'fine'???

You say I seem to be more accepting of the situation so may no longer wish to meet, but you have my things still, and they can't jolly well be posted really, can they!

You say to have a think about what I want from that meeting... When... Where? Well where else would we meet other than your therapy room. I mean I had thought about a walk like we did that one (or was it two) time(s), but, isn't that just a bit of a weird question?

And you ask what would be most restorative/helpful in getting my needs met. Thing is, Ex T, I'm not sure you can (or should???) be meeting my needs right now. My last email was more accepting because I had accepted that you just aren't in a position to hear me, to understand me, to accept my feelings. You'll know them, one day, and I hope one day you will be in a position to hear them, to accept them, but I'm not sure that time is now. So any meeting between is not with that in mind, for me at least.

You messed up here. I know that you had stuff happen in your life, I totally get that, the issue isn't there. The issue is that I asked you twice over the years what happens if the worst happens to you and you dismissed my question. You never had a plan. You should have had a plan. We should have had a plan. You should not have just left me sitting in the grass fending for myself.

I'm angry. Rightly angry I believe. But I don't think you are in a position to hear and understand that anger and to be able to deal with it. I don't believe there is a place for that with you now.

So what do I do? Do I continue to put it to one side and meet with you in order to get my things back and say goodbye? Or do I risk telling you how I feel?

When I sent you that email asking for what I needed, you told me you couldn't facilitate that, you couldnt work at that deep level, but in this message you say think about what would get my needs met.

I'm lost T, lost. That's why I said I needed time to think about it.

Who are you and what did you do with my amazing, reliable T.