My depression came back this month pretty bad. My husband has bipolar 2 and has been going through an extreme depressive episode and my Grandfather passed away a week go.

My GAD and panic attacks are already bad so when the depression comes this is what I go through:
-When my alarm goes off in the morning I wake up and my heart is racing and feel like I cannot breathe.
-NO MOTIVATION. I don't want to clean, go anywhere, play with my dogs
-All day at work ( Assistant Property Manager in multifamily) I try to avoid people and hide in my office.
-Some tasks at work make me so anxious and overwhelmed I get sick and throw up
- I can't eat and don't want to eat. I've lost like 25 pounds in a month.
-Picking my face and fingernails

I do see a Pyschiatrist and I am on lexapro and colonzipam.

GOOD NEWS is I applied for my dream job a little while ago and this week I have already made it through to the third interview, and today I got the email I made it to the FINAL interview and I really think I have a good chance of getting the job. It is for a company that aligns with my ethical views and goals, 100% remote, FREE insurance, $70,000 annual salary, unlimited PTO, and they will pay for me to get my brokers license which has been a goal of mine this year. This could be life-changing and I am so anxious to know if I got it. I'm glad this had helped me get out of the depression a bit and give me a self-esteem boost. I am scared though that if I don't get it that I my depression will get severely worse..

Oh lifeeeee.......