back to my old habits of quitting meds, self medicating, and doctor hopping......
stopped my depakote again after only 2 days, and started and stopped lamictal again in same day....
taking lots of ativan and klonopin just so i can resist the urge to kill .......
and drinking too much and hitting on guys like a raging slut....
im out of my mind and i hate it.
i know the answer....
it is so clear.
it is a bright white room with chicken wire look alike barred windows, and restraints on my arms and legs, and a medication drip in my vein.....
nothing can stop me, nothing can kill the foreign organism that lurks inside my mind...
no meds, nothing.......
i wish i could just fall into a deep coma and stay there til this all passes.