To the OP,

I'm writing this in a hurry so if I sound discombobulated, I apologize.

Please don't feel so down about yourself. I've been there. I was becoming a highly paid healthcare worker, but it all came crashing down after I became ill with psychosis. I know how you feel. The rug has been pulled from underneath you. My best advice is to do with what you have and survive. If you want to do coding, then pursue it. I thought about doing coding too but at my age, I will just do with what I have. I am getting by teaching online but don't recommend it since my job is based on customer satisfaction only. I don't mind but some people do. I highly recommend doing what you like and getting paid for it. I love teaching and am happy now. But, I am living in a country with high taxes and my current income is insufficient. So, I am looking for other jobs. I don't mind because I like writing too. My point is you will pick yourself up again if you want to. I did and am happy now. Yes, you went through difficult times so please learn from them and persevere. Finally, you never know what may happen, you might become really get at coding and find your dream job. Best wishes!