Thank you all for the advice. I do agree that my husband is being smart in bringing these things up for us to talk about. He is a very smart man with a kind soul and I know he said these things out of concern for our future children and our family.

We have continued to talk about this and we do know what we want in life. We both love eachother and want to stay married. He is not saying no to having kids, he just wants to talk about certain things because he does not want to ever let me or a future child down. We both want children and to have a family . No, our family will not be perfect and will function in different ways at different times, but I think that is okay.

We are going to go to our therapist together to talk about these things in depth so that when we do have a child, we are prepared for situations that may arise. I know that this episode hes going through did bring up a lot of these thoughts in him and I totally understand. I was not angry, I guess more confused because he has never said anything about not wanting kids in 11 years. That is why I said I felt tricked because over the decade we have always talked about our future family, have names picked out, and already lost one baby.... so I felt like "have you always felt this way and just said everything is the past to please me?". But, we have opened up the communication in this topic big time and it has been hard, but great for our relationship and for our future.

Having a child is a serious thing and even more so when one partner or both suffer from mental illness, so I also commend my husband for being the one to bring up his concerns and fears. But Mental illness should not be a reason to give up on having children if you are educate yourself and and surround yourself/family with the right support.