I'm on a different medication mix. I'm not as motivated but I got a glimpse of what life use to be like when my meds/situation was wrong a couple of weeks ago. It took a while to get back to my stable. I will forever be in recovery. I will probably never hold a job. I don't feel as intense but I still do feel. I'm a much quieter version of myself. I'm much calmer It sounds like you really need to talk to your treatment team because that would be intolerable to me. It's about quality of life and it doesn't sound like your quality of life is where you want it.

Recovery to me is being stable enough that therapy and med management is enough for me. If your dr wont budge go to your therapist and explain your issues with your medications and see what suggestions they have.