I used to have anger issues as a child and was always called out for it. I remember always feeling like my parents were hypocrites for being mad at me for being mad, so maybe I wasn't always repentful. At some point my parents told me I was too old to be spanked and I started to feel ashamed whenever I was bad.

I suppose my anger issues got better as I grew up, but lately I've been throwing tantrums again, it's shameful and embarassing behavior, but I get so worked up when infuriating technical problems occur like when the internet keeps dropping and I have to restart my computer 3 times and re-set up everything just to hardly get anything done. I work from home now, and when my sister sees me like this she gets scared and calls my dad. My dad has been very supportive and talks calmly to try to find a solution. So far I just keep snapping again though, and I have resorted back to self injury to release my anger.

Right now my throat hurts from screaming out curses and I still feel sad and stressed and exhausted. A coworker also told me yesterday that I could be heard in the background. I'm pretty sure I was muted but I didn't ask about it anymore and my boss didn't say anything either.