I'm sorry u are having such a rough time. I know in the post u specifically talk about childhood trauma. while I can't speak to that for sure, I do know a person who had really bad depression. nothing seemed to work. they decided to do TMS treatment (it's kind of hard to explain but just google it). as a person with a psychology academic background, I think that there's still a lot of fear around the idea of using TMS as a treatment because people think shock therapy (which is not the same thing at all). while it's a newer type of treatment for depression, TMS has been around for years with it now being used for a variety of mental disorders (I am not sure if trauma is included). for the person I know, it was half an hour of treatment, five days a week, for 12 weeks. while it didn't cure the depression, it did help with the symptoms. I notice a change in this person, and they say that they feel like 35% better than they did before the treatment. it's my understanding that people experience varying degrees of symptom relief, so it might be interesting to explore. and for the person I know, it was covered by insutance