You've been through it, haven't you? I'm sure they ( as you put it) they all will have you. Here's a welcome hug from me!! I've been through the dishwasher myself (please see my blog at
http://john4.psychcentral.net)
It has 1 poem on hearing voices, among similar stuff. I love oil painting, do a bit now and then - when I can drag myself away from the computer. You said, and I quote: "...I can't tell anyone about it for fear of being locked up..." Surely they're not THAT draconian? Surely there's some form of "national health" system which has a more humane way oof dealing with good people such as yourself - without locking them up? In London we call it being "sectioned" under one section or another of the Mental Health Act passed by Parliament. I wasn't sectioned: i entered voluntarily for about a month, but had to return a year later again. Another of my poems on my blog deals with the psychiatric ward. Please have a peep: it may help you to know that others here have had some very similar experiences to yourself, cartoonhero. A feeling of "lassitude" is not a surprise to me: I've been 4 years in a dead state, sometimes my internet contacts are my only contacts as I am indoors 24/7: literally scared to go out, after a sexual assault at work. Maybe you can get the confidence to be more specific about the voices: please don't feel you HAVE to, just it may help to talk about it. Cartoonhero, listen please: do you know that there is a growing "enlightenment" about voices among the profession: they are now deliberately encouraging folk to
1) acknowledge the voices;
2) make specific contact with them, if only to tell them (or it) to */&" off!;
3) later, maybe even have a form of discussion with the voice(s). I actually do talk to mine, and am not scared so much now, though it's a shock when they come back.
I can fully understand your mood, but hey! you're now among friends. Keep contact. Once again, a warm welcome. Look after yourself.