I don't think it's a silly question. This all takes time. Try to be patient. As the brain gets stronger and able to cope, you will learn more about what you need to learn.

Thats great that you are journaling. You will learn a lot that way. I think it's an excellent idea to ask specific questions too. If you don't get the answers you are seeking right away, just be patient. It might be that you are not ready for the answers. Our brains are designed to keep us safe.

Take care.