Jessii, I can relate to what you're experiencing.

Have a mother who has always made assumptions but can't offer a sensible explanation when challenged about what she's saying. One instance was when I announced my ex and I had split, her response was "what did you say to upset him?"

Then there's ongoing situation with my sister-in-law (lashed out at me, no apology). Every time we've spoken my mother can't understand why I'm behaving the way I am. She can't tackle issue with my brother because he's the favourite son; they've also produced her only grandchild.

She has to have an outlet for her angst and I've been it. Enough is enough! Unfortunately, her personality type cannot or will not change. If their ideal world is challenged, then it becomes a quest to make you feel guilty and keep her in the position she thinks she deserves.

They have to feel needed and cannot accept any criticism without retaliation. To maintain the "caring nature" you're supposed to agree with everything that's said, even though it's OTT.