I think I used distraction too much today. Although I technically didn’t do anything. But I just took 20 mil of melatonin along with my 160 mil Geodon. I took the 20 mil Geodon around 1 I think. I only took the 3 Valium’s today instead of 5 like yesterday. Things were good until I started thinking about my new therapist and I had been blocking my transference one out of my mind since the 1st. But it was tough trying not to remember my transference today. Which is why I used all the distraction. This I assume post op mood thing started late this afternoon like it did yesterday. So I’m hoping it blows over. I need to do shopping in the morning at Walmart and I’m hoping I’ll have the energy to do both the shopping and therapy. Being in the car this morning on the way to Taco Bell was a bit rough on my stomach. But I legit need food I am out of that I regularly eat and I don’t want my mom to go by herself because I eat weird things that are hard for her to find when I know where they are and I can be in and out fast.

Basically I’m just hoping this therapist is decent. She’s an LGBTQ ally which is really important. The receptionist says she deals with eating disorders. Which is the second most important thing. To other therapists not to me.

But I’m already feeling better as my meds are starting to work. So idk. My mom says it’s just post op mood swings and I’ve read this can happen to ftm who get surgeries