Why...does my life...never get any better. I used to be a really happy, sunshine person. Like, people told me I was such an inspiring bright light and now I'm just dull, depressed, depleted, exhausted. Never feel like I'm good enough, often feel like a failure. Can't hold down a job. I'm too tired all the time. I remember what happy me was like, before all the traumas and things I've gone through. I miss being that person.

Every day is a bad day. It seems like good things rarely ever happen to me. I've been so stressed out I've been having medical problems again. People don't want to talk to me or be around me. I feel invisible, unloved...I may be unloveable, and I can't blame them. I seem to do everything wrong. My emotions get so out of control it's hard to handle, and I do try. I often feel like I'm just drifting and floating and existing, but not really living. I have no close friends, no significant other (at this point considering remaining single for the rest of my life due to the most recent relationship disaster). I don't have a career. I don't have dreams really because they all seem impossible. Everything I try to do simply fails. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm at such a level of exhaustion from surviving and coping with everything that I feel like I've got nothing left in me.

What do you even do when you feel this way? I mean, besides seeing a therapist because I'm still on a waiting list.