Nervous for my T appointment today. With Individual IOP T.

First, I wish she would just TELL ME if she is going to continue to see me after IOP or not. I feel like I am hanging by a thread. I really like her and I think I could learn a lot from her and heal with her but I don't like feeling strung along. If I lose her I will be really sad, crushed really, and I will be upset and will probably SH over it. She might know that which is probably why she is not telling me but it is really frustrating.

Second, I didn't really understand what she was talking about on Friday. About taking care of my own emotional needs. Heck, do I even know what my own emotional needs are? I feel truly lost.

Third, I don't know, we might discuss the shame I felt in showing her the SH scars. I thought we would discuss it on Friday and I probably would have brought it up but the conversation went a totally other way than I had anticipated. In her email she said she loved that I brought it up in email but she would like me to bring it up in session. So IDK if we are going to discuss it today or not. The shame isn't as unbearable as it was on Friday. So now it seems moot. It might still be profitable to be brought up though.

HUGS to anyone who wants, Kit