I work in the mornings and evenings. I am tired at times. I sleep during the afternoons. I have a lot of clerical work for my classes. I am spending more time on this work since I realized I can organize my lessons with good plans. I feel ok but for seven lessons I take about 2 to 3 hours daily to prepare. I would like to streamline my preparation but don't know how. I am not typically organized so it is a learning process.

I am still preparing to find jobs writing and translating. I have to do so many things before I find a job. I want to take my writing and translating seriously. I am taking courses and watching videos. But, I need to read and write more. I can watch all the videos I want about writing and translating, but if I never actually write and translate- it is a joke. I am trying to read and write in my source language as well as write in my target language.

I don't have a translation nor writing degree. I am just self-studying. I learn more by myself than by taking actual classes. I learned my source language by studying by myself also. I am not fluent in it but can understand the main ideas. This is all I need. Translation eventually will be taken over by AI. Until then, I will work as a translator, then as a writer.

I like working and keeping busy. I am happier now than before. I don't earn much nevertheless. I just survive. My health is still a priority. I know my limits. I sleep a lot still. I am lucky and grateful to have a job for now.

This is besides the point, but my mother wanted me to quit my job and return home. She did not make sense so I emphatically told her, I like working here and will stay. She seemed perturbed. I have been doing this teaching job for only over a year and now she wants me to quit. I know she is having problems moving around and doing things independently, but I can't help her by going home. I have to survive on my own eventually. She sounds selfish and thinks I am a baby still. She has my brother and father. She does not need to bother me. If I was naive, I would just agree to go home. But, she does not make sense and is unrealistic. Nobody in my family listens to her nagging. I feel bad but know I must survive on my own here. Throughout my life, she has said things to hurt me or destroy what I have. She is toxic. But, I know this and just say no to her requests. She has caused so much pain to my brother and me. She is ill too but does not receive any medical help for her mental problems since she says she is normal. Well, I have news for her this time. I had enough of her destroying my life by asking outrageous demands and saying insensitive remarks. I should be hopping mad- but am resigned- and know that her illness although it has caused me pain in my life before, I know what to say now: no means no. I am older but wiser now. I am the product of my experiences though. I am finally learning to stand up for myself. I don't know the reasons for my taking so long to see the whole picture with my mother. She makes me sad at times. I must go forward and let her go.

Overall, I'm proud of myself for standing up against the abuse from my mother and others. Finally, I am confident enough to stand on my own.

Thus, I need to continue working and surviving by myself.