Without going too in-depth as to why I am in a shell in the first place, it had to do with surviving a violent, volatile, aggressive environment. I found that if I was silent and didn't speak, or let myself be provoked by a family member I had to live with, they would leave me alone. Instead of verbally abuse me, because I would have no reaction whatsoever. And they would get bored with tormenting me. My home for a long time was an absolute warzone, while I was trying to focus on healing and recovering from a disease that almost took my life.

Hermit mode was effective for surviving this but, it's...it's not so effective in other ways. This situation in my life is now over, I survived, and I'm having a hard time getting out of my safety shell of protection. I am so used to having isolation tendencies to protect myself, to acting like a mute, I'm having a hard to reconnecting with others and just...being comfortable being openly myself. I've always had social anxiety to some degree as well. Last year I also went through traumatic bullying experiences online. I have a very hard time trusting people.

But I also want to expand socially and make friends. I don't expect anyone here to have a magic cure-all. But maybe some advice on how to let the walls down? I'm working with affirmations about being safe.