So I listened to all the voice messages from my transference T last night. And I haven’t been bothered by it today. I do hope I can tell my current T something that my transference T knew about and was really accepting of. I had planned on just saying it on Monday but I choked up and couldn’t even think of telling her. But it’s kind of a big part of my life and I have a self help podcast that is helping a lot and I listened to one today that talked about how to tell someone. It was actually very helpful. She said in the podcast to casually ease into it and say something like “so do you know anything about this thing?” Instead of just blurting it out or hesitating. I do want to discuss it. But it’s a very hard topic for me to talk about outside of message boards and other anonymous online platforms. My transference T was the only one that knew and we mostly discussed it in emails. One time after I had just told her in email she randomly said “do you want to talk about….” And I literally freaked out and said no and she said “ok” and backed off instead of pushing me because I was clearly very distressed and then I had to run to my moms closet so my mom couldn’t hear our conversation.