Hi!

I've been feeling conflicted these last few days. Sad, also.

My therapist asked me if I feel that I would be able to go on by myself, that we may think of ending therapy.

I froze for a second. I said yes, at first, but then I said that I'm not sure about it, and she told me to think it over, and that we can talk about it the next session.

On one hand, I feel proud that she thinks that I'm ready to go on by myself, and I think so too, for the most part. I'd say that I'm satisfied with her as my therapist.

On the other hand, I'm very sad. I feel that I'm losing a close friend. I grew very fond of her through therapy. I started to experience a strong romantic transference after some months of therapy. It subsided a bit after confessing to her, but those deep feelings are always there. I feel happy talking with her, and she makes me laugh. Now, it hurts a lot.

I've been working with her for almost 3 years. She's been there for me, always, she heard me when nobody else did, helped me to grow, and encouraged me to try things that I wouldn't think to do by myself.

I've been wanting to tell her that I think that the timing isn't quite right. That I'm going through a lot of stressful stuff, and that I could use her help. She does CBT, so we work within an established margin of time.

I really don't know what to say to her.

Should I say all the things that I feel, and risk the chance of not being able to see her again as her patient? She said that I could come back if I feel that I need help, but I fear that she wouldn't want to see me again if I say all those things.