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Favorite Jeans · Oct 13, 2021 at 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tobee

I ve been seeing my T for a few months now.

She is very blunt and outspoken. Almost has no filter.

While my other Ts have been much gentler and just let me ramble on, this T calls me out on all my BS.
When I say call me out, i mean it in the most extreme sense. Where i feel like she hates me, is mocking me, can not stand me or is thinking i am a stupid person.

I let her.
At times, I even feel insulted but something keeps making me go back. I pay out of pocket, and i laugh at myself that i pay this person so much just to talk down to me. how much more crazy can you get?

But when she calls me out, it makes sense as well. she tells me to stop acting like a child, and be an adult. And if i want to continue being childish and do not want to change, then i should stop wasting both of our time

when i try to cancel an appt. she says we have to be consistent and if i am serious i will try to keep all my appts.

I was conflicted if i should go this week or not. i am not sure if i should continue with this T. a part of me says yes, atleast she tells me upfront what i am doing wrong. part of me says no. she hates and loves to put me down and insult me and i actually pay her for it.

So i tried to cancel, she asked for reason and i told her because i dont have anything to talk about and i just want to skip this week.
she said she would like me to keep the appt and she will see me at our scheduled time.

I am really scared . i do not want to go , because she will be mad and say things like i am not serious about our work together and she doesnt want to work with me anymore and how i have wasted both of our time.

i know she will say things i will not like and i will be hurt. i will hate myself more for giving her the chance to do this to me. and most scary thing is what if she just drops me? ouch !

i want to continue working with her.
now i wish i didnt try to cancel the appt. and create this mess. f

You know… sure therapy is not all fun and involves hard work. But that’s not the same as being relentlessly insulted and made to feel terrible.

What do you think you’ll gain from spending time with someone who diminishes you? Do you think that being frightened of authority helps you come into your own as an adult?

There are probably people who respond well to that style. I think if you were one of them it would be clear by now because instead of feeling bullied, you’d feel empowered. Like, “whoa she told me to grow up and it was just the nudge I needed and look, I made all these changes that I’d been hesitant about! She kicks my butt a bit but I find it really motivating!”

I don’t hear you saying that.

Life is too short to spend time with people who are mean to you. You know? The idea that you should continue something just because you started it is called the sunk cost fallacy.