it's hard to be so proud...it's hard to ask for help...but i'm going down...and I know it....my life is caving in on me and i haven't the slightest notion of what to do..who to call. appearances have always been important in my family...but the truth is - im a mess...im exhausted...and i don't even know where to turn..in my background, we didn't talk about pain..you just cope..."gracefully" but my gracefullness is gone and im feeling desperate....wish i even knew what to ask for...wish i had someone to ask....im scared...this morning, i drove to work in an absolute fog of depression....im reaching out...but not sure what im reaching for...i want to live....and raise my precious children, but right now...im letting everyone down.