Actually, Yaowen, this is exactly what I needed to hear.

I actually had family who were victims of the Holocaust. I met some of the survivors when I was much younger, and I consider that one of the honors in my life that I had.

I've really been digging to find my purpose and passion in life. I think I figured it out. I've always been a writer. I was writing short stories in 4th grade, by the time I was in middle school, I was working on novellas and novels. I have been writing most of my life. When I was an undergrad, I had 3 poems published in a poetry journal. And I also had a scholarly journal publication through the university. Writing helps keep me sane. I have been working on a poetry book since I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease at the end of 2019. I have some novels I am working on too.

But...it's more than just writing. What I want more than anything is to make a positive contribution and a difference in the world. In the hobby I left, I was doing that. I had people tell me how my scavenger hunt I hosted online helped them cope through lockdown and depression, helped them make new friends. And it made a difference in their lives. I had other people tell me my posts on the platform were how they coped through the week, and sometimes, the reason they chose to keep fighting and not give up. For a while, my whole life mission was on this website helping people. But I sadly went through traumas with people on there and for the sake of my own mental health, had to leave. I experienced severe burnout. Because I gave too much in my efforts to help others.

Now my purpose is gone and I'm feeling a little lost right now, as I search for a new community with people who have a better vibe and healthier mindset. The atmosphere of that website is toxic. Plus, I owe to myself to prioritize myself for a little while.

But anyway, no, my failures are not at the level you are pointing out and that is certainly comforting. I need to get my life back together, it would help if I could actually feel better physically. I've been working on my intentions and what I want to do with my life. How to honor my gifts, talents, and intelligence, instead of taking jobs that don't use them, and I get put on the sideline and never advance. We do all come here for a special purpose. If only I could get that breakthrough I need.

In the meantime, I'm here to spread love and light and show others paths to healing. I'm also finally learning how to love myself and take care of my own emotional needs.