On May 9th I saw my most recent abuser (who is STILL causing me nightmares and all kinds of other crap even though it's been 7 months since I cut her out of my life) and even though she did not see me (I hid), I was in a state of shock. I went to the store and got myself some alcohol.

-sigh-

Then I was drunk on May 15th and May 16th.

My boyfriend does not believe in my alcohol-sobriety anymore, it seems.

That is not good. If we get to go to Sweden and move in together, I can't continue relieving my stress and anxiety with alcohol. I will be just like my father.

but I really don't want to. Not anymore. Maybe I did when I was younger, but I did not know of this side of him back then. He didn't make fun of me or my mom. He didn't hit us. This person is not fun. I don't want to end up like that.

I s w e a r I don't!

I've been sober for 3 days today.

Thanks for listening.