I can definitely relate! I struggle with the same difficulty.

What helps me are two things:

1] I try to put things into perspective. Emotional reasoning with bad outcomes forms a continuum, from least bad outcomes to worst outcomes. This continuum or range is quite wide.

At one end there is absolute perfection which is outside the reach of finite human beings. None of us are all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful, all-free, all-perfect Infinite Beings. We have our little 3 -pound brain and have to work with it.

Emotional reasoning with the worst possible outcomes would be perhaps the reasoning of dictators who have sent tens of millions of people to their destruction through campaigns of genocide or forced mass starvation, people say, like Hitler and Stalin.

Most emotional reasoning with unfortunate outcomes does not result in the annihilation of tens of millions of people, or millions, or hundreds of thousands, or tens of thousands, or thousands, or hundreds and so on.

So I find that it is helpful to me to try to put my weaknesses and failures that result from emotional reasoning in perspective so that I can have a sense of moderation and proportion.

Most of us are spared the tragedy of causing genocide because of our emotional reasoning. But often we can feel a sense of impotence, shame, guilt and frustration that is out of proportion to the range and depth of our weaknesses and failures.

Patience with oneself is a virtue just as patience with others is. We are not Infinite Beings.

It is noble to struggle against one's weaknesses and can be downright heroic at times. It is not the kind of once in a lifetime heroism that makes the news. Perhaps it is equal to it in a way since the everyday drudgery of the struggle can often be harder than a one-time epic heroic deed.

2] Having an overriding mission in life can be helpful here too.

Perhaps an example might be illuminating. Many of us have heard of the Holocaust rescuer, Oskar Schindler who saved the lives of thousands of people during the Nazi reign. He is a hero celebrated by books and movies.

But he had to tolerate some pretty severe weaknesses and failures in life, failures and continued failures in his relationships, in his career and business, in his personal habits and excesses.

At one point in his life he had to sell lightbulbs door to door to make ends meet. He was hardly a saint. But he is not remembered for any of the negative things about his life.

He is remembered because he achieved a shining moment in his life because he had a goodly mission.

Now most people cannot be Oskar Schindler. But we can all have some kind of mission in life.

I know a homeless woman who begs on the street. Every day she gives a little of what she collects to causes by way of those little 'give loose change' boxes in gas stations, boxes for the March of Dimes, St. Jude's Children's Hospital, the Red Cross and so on.

Now I am sure this lady has had her share of losses and failures and weaknesses in her life and perhaps still does.

But she is a kind of heroic figure. Because she transcends these things by her mission of compassion for those less fortunate than her. And that mission, I think engenders in her a kind of nobility, distinction and moral stature that is beautiful.

I know a man who is almost completely homebound with illness. Each day he venture a few steps from his front door to feed birds and squirrels. When he is really broke he leaves a little bread by ant hills.

I have seen him struggle to walk to his mailbox. He walks with his eyes fixed on the ground to be careful not to step on any ants or little creatures walking beneath his feet. How sweet!

He is not going to make the news and he has some deep problems that he struggles with. But he is a kind of heroic figure.

Most people are so preoccupied with their concerns that they give no thought to the little creatures they crush beneath their shoes when then walk. But this man has given himself a kind of noble mission. And it is sort of beautiful.

These ideas help me. I don't know if they would be helpful to you or others. It is so difficult to be helpful sometimes and often our words are useless or even make things worse for others.

These two ideas are not mine. The first, is an idea of CBT. The other is an idea of psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor.

I have a little mission myself. It helps to take me out of myself . . . helps me to avoid ruminating on my weaknesses and failures and loses of which I have many, to be quite honest. I still struggle, but I try to keep things in perspective when I can. It isn't as easy as it sounds, sadly.

This is actually not advice. I am not qualified to give advice. I just want to share what has helped me with my emotional reasoning. What helps one person doesn't always help another.

I do sincerely hope that you find things that help you. Sorry that I could not be helpful!