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Oct 15, 2021, 10:59 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,592
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Thank you. I really like your reply, because it makes a lot of sense.
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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
I don’t know how old you are but in the mid-late 80’s, 90’s and maybe early 00’s, there was a lot of literature (Courage To Heal being the big one that comes to mind) that really promoted the idea that our depression, somatic illness etc is rooted in CSA that we may have repressed. Of course CSA is very prevalent and often we don’t recall exactly what happened. So it was a bit of a nightmare of some people having “memories” encouraged by the thinking of the time and others who were abused being discredited because of the first phenomenon.
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No one could explain why I was struggling, so they dug. Back in 1994 a psych resident asked about abuse. I wondered if that was the reason why I felt different, so I explored it with that lady (the start of the descent into hell). It seemed to explain my sexual orientation, my gender, and my lack of feelings and emotional connections with others.
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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
The understanding that poor attunement/attachment for a child with a sensitive nervous system can be in itself very traumatic, is relatively new. Those people end up feeling kind of defective because they feel so effed up (especially in their teens and twenties) despite having had pretty normal childhoods. The thing is that for those kids not being listened to, run-of-the-mill bullying, being left alone or yelled at or whatever, is just devastating.
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I am sensitive.
Not having an explanation that validated my experience (my neurodiversity) is a huge part of what messed me up. Rather than embracing my differences, everyone focused on trying to fix them. It felt like I was being forced to change, so I can be more pleasing and likeable to other people. My speech, and the way I socialized and thought needed to be more socially acceptable. This sent a message that I was flawed.
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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
Anyway. I hope your T is giving you a lot of credit for the courage and integrity of the work you’re doing.
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She's been very helpful. It took 9 years to get to this point. She had to prove to me that she was a critical thinker who wasn't blinded by assumptions.
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Dx: Didgee Disorder
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