L says similar to what a lot of you say. That my sex dreams and thoughts are more about the nurturing I crave, especially from her. She knows I'm not attracted to her in a sexual way. But still the dreams disturb me. I only told her of my dream of being physically intimate with her. She said my dream was actually really beautiful and could see how it could be comforting to my brain. She also says that the brain uses thoughts of sex for many reasons besides it being about sex. I do believe her on this. I just wish that my brain wouldn't go there with her. I feel like I'm violating her.

I plan on telling L about my thoughts of her with her partner, I just don't know when.