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Very discouraged today. Sick of getting up so appallingly early in the dark and having nothing to do but drudgery. My life is empty. I took 3mg of Clonazepam and went back to bed. What exactly is it that i want to be wide awake for? Where is the pleasure? What am i living for? Inertia. I'm just going to wallow in food and make no effort at all. The world can go to Hell for all i care. I feel like i'm trapped in this very large pet that takes endless care and maintenance that i don't care about. All there is, is the endless care and maintenance without purpose.
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