Miss Anthrope,
Welcome.
Its NOT you. I'm not an expert, but I am an honest fella. He is treating you like dirt and no matter what, based on what you have put here, you deserve MUCH better.

I'd recommend you take a clean break and do some work on yourself. For instance, figure out why you put up with all of his chit in the first place? If you had a daughter would you want her putting up with this behavior?

My gut tells me you are a good person.

I don't know him or anything about him other than what you put here.

I do know this, he makes you feel bad, he belittles you, he uses you.

You can do much better.

BOM