I dont think I can do this anymore, I keep fantasizing about dying, about how Id do it, I have a semi thought out plan but Im afraid of failing and pain. But I cant keep going. Im tired of my job and job searching and being rejected for pretty much everything.

I also feel like without attempting first that theres no reason to even go to the mental hospital either, Id feel like a failure too. I guess til I finally actually do it Ill just continue to fantasize about it