Thanks for everyones such good thoughts on this. Wow!! I can not believe it. Sorry I am just venting, I have no one, no friends IRL no friends anywhere, just need to be hugged and sat with for a while, no one wants to though, and I totally understand I hate myself and I am not good company. No matter what I touch or do I f* it up. Yeah, I know everyone is so tired of me lately, I am always depressed, yeah I know I live it everyday every fing day.